Disclaimer:These blogs are written like a Diary. I don’t care to go back and write bigger words, spell check or write a sentence differently so it “flows” better. This is a Diary/Blog and there are going to be grammatical errors. Please all you Grammar Natzi’s get over it. If you want to read one of my literary/journalism pieces you can go here.

http://vegaskool.com/2013/02/16/elisa-furr-goes-to-rock-n-roll-fantasy-camp/

Paris Day 3

Our day started off at 3 am waking up too soon!  First I woke at 3 am thinking I had slept for a long time! I checked emails and went back to sleep for a few more hours and then awoke at  5:30am!  Finally, we got out at 8 am to get a good place in line for  the Museum called “Musee’ D’ Orsay which is a museum that houses original Van Gogh’s, Renoirs and Monet’s,  among many other famous artists.

First we had breakfast at a suprisingly “non touristy” Cafe right next to the museum because the customer service guy did not speak a lick of English! Out came my tablet! ON my tablet I have downloaded a astoundingly helpful app called Paris, France a Mobile reference.  It has everything you need including all the key phrases. 

I was told that the French were going to be annoyed and “Mad” that I was going to be butchering their language. Not so, I say! In fact, even if they were a bit standoffish to begin with, I always brought out a huge smile when I looked at my tablet and attempted to speak the correct phrase to them.  I come off sounding somewhat like Flo from the sitcom “Alice” and a French Movie star with a stuttering problem. My delivery is confident as I am an artist and of course the southern part comes from me being from Little Rock, Arkansas.

Every time I am able to speak to them in their language and actually understand their response ( they failed to warn you about that little pitfall_, I clapped my hands in Glee… ( yes Glee..) like a child getting a top to spin for the first time.  It is a sense of huge accomplishment being able to carry on a small conversation in French even though I may not be saying it exactly right. And they really, really appreciate you trying!

That being said for some reason he brought out, before we even asked, two croissants. We thought “Well maybe this comes with all pre-breakfasts”.  When he didn’t come back, we asked him for a menu ( in English cause there was no French word for Menu on my tablet) and when he came back with the menu he brought two really long pieces of Buttered French Bread! Hmmmm more bread.  Should we say something? At the risk of feeling a little dumb we decided against it thinking maybe this was a second free course. LOL!

Finally we ordered an egg crepe and an egg omelette.  They came out Ala Carte.  No bacon? No potatoes? Oh well… they were really good and filling! What is it about the small portions that fill you up so much? It’s some weird unexplainable phenomenon. I think Chet and I have had 4 meals in four days.  We are full so easy and never hungry! And walking 7 hours a day! If my butt is not sitting up on top of my shoulders from the muscle workout, I will be disappointed.

After eating, we walked across the street to the Museum.

B/c Chet and I decided not to get the guided tour or the audio tape recorder helper thingie… Chet and I’s dialogue went something like this as we stood in front of various paintings.

What follows is a small part true/part exaggerated version for comical effect and to put a spin on what was both a very serious visit with some added laughs.  Mind you there was also quite a  bit of very intellectual conversations as well but that wouldn’t be as entertaining to tell you would it. 

With that said,  here are a few of the not so much. ( Intelligent convo’s)

Elisa- Oh this guy is really mad Chet!  EW!
Chet- Look at all these Elk!
Elisa’ They all look like they are suffering.. what is his deal with suffering animals? What is wrong with these Elk? They are screaming! This guy is seriously depressed. I don’t like him. He likes to abuse animals.

STANDING IN FRONT OF PAINTING TWO.
Elisa (TILTS HEAD looking very confused. “What is the deal with all the boobs and the angel babies?
Chet- I think those are called Cherubs.
Elisa- All these people did were painted boobs and angel babies!  Every other picture is a picture of boobs!  I think they were obsessed with boobs.
Chet- All they had to do back then was look at boobs.

STANDING IN FRONT OF PAINTING 3. ( Monet)
ELISA ( thinking I Have just discovered something really, really cool!
– Chet! Chet!  Come over here honey! look at this one! I think this is a finger painting! He painted this one with his fingers!
CHET- No honey.. those are just large brush strokes and a big ass paint brush.

STANDING IN FRONT OF PAINTING 4.
ELISA- Look at these miserable people.. they are all standing around a piano and not one person is smiling! Their hands are all in their pants like they are all cold. These people are NOT having fun!
CHET- How do you know they are not having fun?
ELISA- BECAUSE they are NOT smiling! How many people do you know that when they are having fun, are making THAT face?
CHET- I don’t think people smiled back then, at least for pictures.
ELISA- How does an era have no smiles? You don’t just have a decade of people that didn’t smile. I just think no one had fun back then. All they did was have war, look at boobs and paint pictures of naked angel babies.  No wonder they were all mad!

Needless to say the whole museum visit went like this off and on.  IF you ever go to a really fancy museum, you must do the Mystery Science Theater 2000 thing and make your own captions.  After really looking at it and getting the most out of the painting for yourself.. in a serious way.. then you can make a funny caption up.  Best of both worlds. Win-win.

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